23rd March, i miss u still

im really down, i miss u , yes i do!!! i really still like u, even when i pretended to b cool in church or watsoever, i never intended us to be so far apart and cold to one another.

u gave me those cruel cold shoulder is just too hard for me to bear, i cant stand it, i always 'blaf' my self tat i shud still believe u still love me, deep inside. but my eyes is deceiving me wif wat i see day in day out, u treat like u dunno me, even b4 we broke up, i alrdy felt so much neglected by u in public places, i cant even hold the hands of the person i love most, i cant even express my love in the most simplest form of being together wif u. i have been tortured long enuf when we were together, i have tried everything, i sacrificed all including the intimate moments just to protect u from letting ur parent know me and u 'on' d.

y, y , y ? y tell me tat we shud fen shou then after i tried letting go then begging me to stay?i hated my self for letting u slip off my arms on 31st Dec, i din wanna fen shou, but u told me tat ur mom wanted u to study and tat we shudnt 'on' le.i respected ur wish to study and please and obey ur mom , tats y i only did wat u told me to during October.ever since then, i lost hope .

i always wanted to be wif u , however, i regreted for being so obedient to u, now i lost it all . so much for folowin god's way.... i kinda regret being a good person at times. i hate it!!!

i have wept everyday, everyday i tink of u! seeing my 'oxygen' but unable to feel it anymore. why must u leave me like tat. im happy for u tat u settled down so quickly, but at the same time , my heart ACHES! seeing the person i love has lost the feelings for me alrdy. i will never forgive myself for making u cry and losing u.its all my fault!!!

i love u still... im trying to b obedient to u even now, im trying to obey wat u said to me: move on, study hard, and dont tink back d. i cant, i really cant!!!! unless i have memory loss which im currently slowly having it alrdy, i had trouble remebering my girl friends names, guys as well.

HG , i really need u ... but i know deep down , its IMPOSSIBLE anymore for u and me,coz u dont love me anymore. everyday i wait wif false hope.

sign***********************************************************************in tears#