Am i a bad person?

God, my mom asked me today wat type of seed i am , to be honest, i've been da seed on the stone all these while. i tot i was doing everything right , which was wat my mom expected and instructed me.however, i realized i lack a concrete relationship wif u LORD.

And when sin or temptation came, i fell , and felt so discouraged when i was reproof by my mother.i always tot as if i am not up to 'her' standard of spiritual living . i felt not encouraged to come back to God, instead, i felt drifted away day by day coz no matter wat i do ...i will never keep up to da standards.

no doubt, so called worldly things we do (ie. dota, facebook , msn , etc) are pretty much leisure time. but i felt pressured whenever she kept reprimanding me as if these were all SIN . i know tat she wants da best for me but then again... i felt really annoyed? stress? perhaps frustrated might be da word ... shall a christian be like a monk? doin da necessary so called worldly things (ie. go to school & work ?)then other than tat, everything else is an 'IDOL' , 'SIN' .... ?

i tried talking to her bout me growing ... yes, i wanna b follower of christ , i wanna be a MAN of god, i wanna win souls for christ. i had all these desires in me. but i felt powerless whenver 1 mistake is done, ppl will bring up da issue over and over again, i felt discouraged and tired.

i talked to mom, but she wept as if i m scolding her tat she didnt love me.i only asked her this : if wat u intended all thse while is for my good , hw come i am feeling more discouraged as u reprimand me more? .... da desires of my flesh? .... i need answerssssss