here i am , day 5 of week 6 in USM , all of a sudden as i browse thru the SHE songs copied from a frend of mine--'ai wo de zi ge' , i m overwhelmed by the lyric, it talks about a girl's tinking of wat a guy who love her shud be doing. i feel like crying, but as im in my frend hansen and Ong room, i didnt wanna make a big deal outta it. i feel sad .... somehow, i question the new 'me' , didnt i moved on? didnt i told my self not to go back to depression and lingering in negative thoughts? well, i realized , i didnt make it, i failed somehow. perhaps the emotional attach is still very strong in my heart, perhaps i didnt realize how much i love u chin ling. how foolish of me to get angry over promises broken and opted for break up....
i wish, i wish....i REALLY WISH.... tat u will come back. i know tat ppl said tat once a new person enters my life, i will move on, but atm, i jus cant accept anyone else yet. y m i punishing myself wif someone who alrdy gave up on me alrdy? yes, i have hurt u, i have throw u into hopelessness for once, and u picked urself up thru the mission trips and group activities wif frendsss... however, i believe tat u do still miss me, consider me a fool who still hope for something.... this fool hope, i cling to everyday.... deep inside, i asked myself, were i like 'this' (current behaviour and actions) 1 year ago when u were still wif me? no, i have change into something tat i tot it cud conceal my hurt.... its FAKE.
well, writing out my feelings only makes me feel released of words. i just wanna say i still cling on dis fool's hope for u. i know u told me u have a new BF, consider it a punishment for me by god.
********I LOVE U Chin Ling*********I still do******if u do read this, pls believe tat we still can be together*******i pray tat we can meet and talk again one day***************
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